besides school, there are some little ups and downs in my personal life recently.
i thought he just doesn't care about me. i cried about it. i fussed about it.
but one morning as i was sitting in class, i thought about the way we used to be.
and everything just became so clear. suddenly i see how things went "wrong".
nothing is exactly wrong. it's just we don't do the things we used to do anymore. but i just loved the way we used to be. that why i felt left out last week.
i think a part of me is still a little girl who scream out for attention. do you think i should keep this part?
i am eighteen years young. i think i should be in the spotlight. i believe that this is my time.
"as a 1970's era poster put it so well, 'there is no finish line'. there's no 'end'. life goes on until it stops. you head for some paradise, then realize it isn't..." - christine clifford beckwith
i'm the one who's wrong. i thought you were my finish line. i expected what we have to feel like paradise. then reality hits me. and i feel the pain. now i realize that the reason why we're together is to keep on running.
MUST CLICK! - J.Brown Papa's Got a Brand New Bag dig that last vid link so bad! i love that whole look he got in that last clip. fitted shirt with sleek pants, and a pair of the shiniest shoes i've ever seen in any black and white clips!
i've been looking for good youtube clips from the good old days. I usually don't like looking back. but now we live in a society where we only suck "inspirations" out from the old stuff and never really sat down and think about new things. we just want to be good. most of us forgot about striving to be that one legend.
society now days encourages weakness. instructors get sued for giving "too much homework and giving harsh critiques" at art center; welfare problems; lohan, unfitney and amy, etc... and oh let's help the poor bunnies that are being tested on. oh let's freeze ourselves to death and stop wearing furs, not even faux furs coz it still implies the message. oh let's help the poor people in xxxxxxxx but donating $300 a month.
compare justin timberlake with james brown. yea technology can do a lot of stuff to make things better. but even justin himself whines about being tired of using technology. james brown gave all he's got at his performances. but justin timberlake gives some and wings the other bigger half. coz he knows people love him anyways.
" what?! and you have a job? omg you're so gonna want to quit your job", " omg really? u have a job? i hope you can manage..."
this is what everybody's been telling me all this week.
and i'm still so determined to keep my job.
now i only work about 15-17 hours per week. so what if i quit my job? i will have a little more time to work on the stuff. but so what? i still got 24 hours a day no matter what i do.
plus the other big reason is that i can't afford to. asking my parents for money to spend at this age is just the uncoolest thing ever.
another thing that keeps me going is this hero that i know. he used to take more classes than me, meanwhile he had a job, and was able to get straight A's. if he did it, then i can do it too.
it's problem solving, not problem dismissing.
all my life, i had a series of the most strange problems. and i still have some of them with me. and still more to come. and i used to turn away from them and hide in my covers and cry. but now i learned that the only thing i can do to make these monsters go away is to face them and be like " hey, i'm not scared of you."
we're at art center. we're about to be made into champions. at least i know i am.
